Letter to a friend.

Dear friend,
in such short time you have managed to get further through what it is that I am than probably anyone ever did. And you can not imagine how grateful I am.
But my dear friend: you are more than just a friend, no matter what you might say or do, it is not something you can change by the power of will.
I have thought well of your more than generous offer. And by accepting it I would do exactly what you so often tell me not to: lie to myself. I would be a fool. I would step over that thing that I believe in. That I've always believed in. The one thing that always kept me going. It would be, really, selling my soul. What's left of it anyway. And I have too little to spare.
You're giving me something that no one has ever even conceived of giving me before. But it's only half of what I want. Because this is the first time I really know what I want. I don't want a friend. I want you.
And I refuse to settle for less. Not any more. Not this time.
And yes, you might think that I am that silly little emo kid. Call me crazy. Who knows, you might be right, but this emo kid will stand next to his strongest belief.
I hope you'll read this but honestly it's more a letter for me. For me to remember clearly why I said no.

Well.. I guess I'll see you around :)


Chrisu